It was not so long ago when I was really searching for the true meaning of "Love". With its multitude of definitions, I couldn’t help but succumbed to the various confusions that "Love" brought. My first remembrance of the word was back in kindergarten, when my teacher asked me if I loved Mickey Mouse of Superman more. I wanted Superman, therefore I told her that I loved Superman. At the moment in time, “Love” was a word that I associated with possessing, and used it whenever I wanted something.
As I grew up the term “Love” grew with me. I started having crushes on girls as early as primary schools though i never really told them. I thought that must be the real “Love” I was looking for. However, as I learned more about sexuality and the way hormones function, I found that the “Love” I discovered wasn’t more than a physiological urge. Then, as i proceeded to secondary school, I started to confuse myself with the feeling of "Love" and "Be Loved". I was (and still am) not as good looking as others, but my personality seems to draw attention from some girls that for some strange reasons felt comfortable to be with me. It might sound lame, but all I wanted from them was to talk! I enjoy talking to them and of course listen to their ramblings even without tips like these. At that time, I thought love was really all about getting to know each other more, the sense of understanding each other. But again, the equation of love=possession come into picture when many friends were starting to link "Love" and sex. "There is no love without sex and no sex without love," they would claim.
Then, I had a serious crush on a girl soon before i entered university. I was brave enough to confess to her. Sadly, at that moment she was not planning to be in any relationship and hence ignored my confession. Thus, i moved on, thinking that the term "Love" is getting more and more complicated. Soon, at university, i met my current girlfriend and have since realised how the term "Love" has changed me. I found "Love". The "Love" that enables me to sacrifice, to reflect on my own life and sans the need to possess. I began to accept the fact that while I may have found "Love", the journey in making sure that the "Love" can be maintained is even tougher. Perhaps, without putting "Love" as a possession, it can be simple. As simple as just by being next to your partner, it can give comfort to you and to her/him or as simple as a 1-minute phone call that can give calmness and instant happiness. And i wonder…did i really find love?
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